Why Worms are used to cause harm

Worms hate you

They only aerate your soil in hopes to create sink holes to demolish your cities.

Many people are aware of the numerous charms recounted to cause harm to people involving the use of worms.

Many European healing charms conjure illnesses as various “worms;” when not charming parasitic body worms.

But do you know why the worm causes harm to man?

Let me tell you a story…well, part of a story…

A long time ago, the Animals gathered in council. Man had terribly abused them, misused them, mistreated them, and wasted their lives, amongst other heinous crimes. Thus, they determined to decide what to do about it. Various animals promised to inflict certain curses on the health and lives of men; but the worm was the angriest of all, because people stepped on him, mashed up his children, and left them cripple to die by sun or bird; so the worm wished to kill all men.

Picture it…you’re minding your own damn business, coming up for some air after the rain; and some prehistoric Karen steps on half of you; and a bird pecks the rest off; while your wife, children, and grandworms scream in the distance. This will come in to the tale of the hell mouth, maggots and all.

So, once man got one of the animals to tell him what happened; instead of opening a worm refuge and trying to watch their steps a little better, man - the eternal opportunist - figured out how to use the worms hatred for man against his fellow man; by drying it to powder and feeding it to enemies; and composing all sorts of noxious charms from it’s squiggly little body.

Luckily, the animals are much like man, and a chicken will fuck up a worm…but that’s another story and science for another day.

Sometimes I wonder if it was a worm telling Eve to eat the apple; and he just blamed it on the snake. Worms can be like that sometimes.

Hail the WORM!

Dr. Corbeaux